Daddy Time with Mr. Mom

Hello, Breakfast...

So my wife and I are discussing the issue of talking to strangers with my 4 year old son, Beckett, when he comes out with this priceless gem. He's typically a precocious, verbose young man (I wonder where he got that from?) that enjoys interacting with adults and child alike. We decided to do a little bit of pseudo-role play to bring the issue of strangers into the realm of reality. The dialogue unfurled like this:

Mr. Mom: "Now Beck, if a stranger comes up to you and tries to talk to you, what do you say?"

Beck: "You're a stranger, I don't know you!"

Mr. Mom: "Good! Great answer buddy. Now, what are some of the things a stranger might say to you?"

*drum roll please*

Beck: "Hello, breakfast..."

Mr. & Mrs. Mom: "Hahahahhahahahahaha!"

Where did he come up with that? Does he recognize the predator/ prey relationship between stranger and child? He's an avid wildlife show fan, so it's not that far out of the question for him to be likening it to the "spider and the fly" scenario. Or is this just a nod to Sylvester the Cat and Tweety Bird? We may never know where he got it from, but one thing is for sure... It was freakin' hilarious!

Baby Food Conspiracy

There seems to be an ongoing conspiracy in the baby food industry. Although my kids have been off the jar stuff for some time, it still ruffles my feathers to see the powers that be pushing coveniently less nutritious slop in a jar. When I started my little stay-at-home Daddy adventure, I was concerned mainly with my kid's health. My son, Beckett, had the World's Worst Case of Colic and needed special formula. We supplemented with breastmilk the best we could, but needed Nutramigen in order to ease his (and our) daily suffering. I'm not sure why it worked, since that formula is for cow milk allergies, but it did.

Following this natural progression, when it came time to start with solid food I went out and got myself an array of Stage 1 foods. The boy loved it. He started eating like Louis Anderson at a Chinese Buffet. After about a month or so, I began to realize that at the rate my son was going through jarred food, we'd be panhandling before too long. I looked at the backs of the jars and realized I was paying for the packaging and not the food. It was time to start making baby food myself. I didn't consult any resources. I didn't talk to my pediatrician. I just started making baby food. I'm an avid cook, so all I did was apply my own knowledge to my new endeavor. I ended up developing about 12 solid recipes for baby food. When my dauhter was born, I didn't even bother buying the jarred stuff. I just started making the food and freezing it in ice cube trays.

Long story short... We saved a ton of money and I had complete control over everything that went into my kids bodies. Don't let Gerber and Beechnut fool you. Good health starts at home, not in the grocery store.

Cookie Monster on the Wagon

It came to my attention a few months ago that there has been an unfortunate change in one of my most revered childhood icons... Cookie Monster is on the wagon. Recently, our favorite big blue eating machine decided that it was time to cut back on his favorite treat. He solidified his new position with the iconoclastic song "Cookies are a Sometimes Food". All kidding aside, the new message is a good one. Moderation is a fantastic thing for children to be learning at the pre-school level. It's still something Mr. Mom (believe it or not) struggles with daily! But isn't this a direct contradiction of Cookie's character? If ever there was an icon of unbridled gastronomic delight, would it not be Cookie Monster? There's just something disturbing about the once chocolate chip driven Cookie pushing asparagus and arugula. In all fairness, he does still enjoy the occasional cookie. We see this clearly at the end of "Cookies are a Sometimes Food" when he asks "Is sometimes now?" and he's told "Yes". Also, his new stance on healthy eating hasn't stopped his maniacal attacks on the letter of the day. I can take solace in the fact that his enthusiasm for eating in general hasn't diminished. I, personally, think Maria or Allen should be pushing the veggies and leave Cookie alone with his vices.

Riddle me this... If Keith Richards did an anti-drug PSA, would you really listen?

Outside influences

If you have kids, you have most likely experienced the dreaded "Outside Influence". For those unfamiliar with this phenomena, it occurs when your pristine little child is influenced, in one way or another, by someone other than you or your spouse. In short, it's more or less when your son comes home from school and says "Dad, you're a poopy head!" If you're lucky, and your kid is still young, that sort of benign comment may be the extent of the "Influence". If they're older, then things may be a bit more malignant. I think, as parents, that we like to live in a world where we shape our child; that we are the ones filling that beautiful vessel with the things we choose. Unfortunately, that isn't always the case. We live in a world that doesn't always jibe with our values. The things that our kids pick up from their friends (and sometimes their friend's parents) can be beyond our control. Things that would never come out of your mouth and actions that you would never condone sometimes become the norm for our offspring. Is this a good thing or is it ultimately corrosive to our parental Utopia?

I feel confident in the fact that there are very few things that my kids could do or say that I haven't done or said myself. I haven't always been Mr. Mom ya know! However, it's never easy when you see your once flawless child displaying unsavory behaviors they have never shown before. I don't want these behaviors to increase, but I'm also not willing to limit my children's exposure to the outside world. Growing up, I had a parent of a friend that banned me from their home; excommunicating me and barring me from every kick-the-can game held on their property... The reason? I questioned their child's faith and my friend agreed with me. I was a bad influence, apparently.

We've dealt with the "Outside Influence" by explaining it to my kids; explaining why mommy and daddy don't like it when kids use bad language. We've decided that full disclosure is the way to go. I'm curious if anyone else has experienced this. What are your thoughts?

One Step Ahead Glider

I love nursing. Not the physical act of course, given that I lack mammary glands, but the bonding that occurs when you have your little one's head in the crook of you elbow and they're feeding happily on a bottle. My wife (The Breadwinner) pumped and stored her milk for me (The Feeder) so that my kids could benefit from breast milk. I would have to admit the experience wouldn't have been nearly as enjoyable if not for my glider rocker.

So, one of my friends is expecting in July. She doesn't have much in the way of money, so I thought I'd do the nice thing and give her what she NEEDS not what looks cute. And, of course, I think "glider rocker!" Heck, ours wasn't that expensive, I think we can manage it. The first thing I did was find one that I liked (it looked EXACTLY like mine) and made sure it came from a reputable company. So, I think I've found the ultimate baby shower gift... until I check the price tag. One Step Ahead wants $449.95 for the chair and another $179.95 for the ottoman! That’s ridiculous, considering mine cost $179 for the rocker AND the ottoman! Of course, mine isn't from One Step Ahead, but c’mon now! Mine is almost 5 years old now and still gliding strong. If the One Step Ahead rocker lasts as long as their Woodland Climber, then it might be worth it. I said MIGHT be worth it. But if it turns out to be another Express Microwave Sterilizer, then I'd say NO WAY!!

I still haven't bought her a gift yet...

Criminal or just careless?

Something came to my attention the other day. I was sitting in my car outside a convenience store, when I saw a man with out-of-state plates pull in beside me. He got out of the car, left it running and ran in to buy some coffee and the paper. When I looked up, I noticed he had 2 small kids in the car. The youngest was in a rear facing seat, so it couldn't have been more than a year. The other looked about my son's age (4), which really isn't any better.

Reserving judgment, I waited for the man to come out with his paper and java. I didn't say anything to him. I didn't even let on that I was watching him. I wondered if he saw a problem with what he had just done. I know that if I had done it, my kids would have been half way to the Canadian border, cruising for some cheap Molson. But, apparently not all children have the lust for drunken chaos my kids seem to embrace.

So, there I sat; drinking my iced tea and wondering if the gentleman next to me did this often. I fastened my seatbelt and readied myself for the return trip home, only to find that there was a police car parked behind me! It seems a concerned citizen (who was apparently equally concerned as myself, just less concerned about being nosey) called the fuzz. I guess what the out-of-stater did bordered on child endangerment. They ended up hauling this father away in front of his kids! I understand that he made a bad choice, a victimless mistake in this instance, but who really paid for it?

I'm sure the State felt a certain amount of self-righteousness, and that the father's embarrassment will ensure he'll never repeat the mistake, but who really paid for it? I hate to say it, but no matter how horrid or wrong some people may consider his mistake to be, isn't it worse to drag the guy away in front of his kids? How do you explain it to them? To your wife? To the judge at the DSS hearing? In my opinion, the mistake was bad, but the result was worse. I have no idea what happened to the guy after they cuffed him and drove away. I know an unmarked police car took the kids somewhere. Honestly, it never occurred to me to follow up on it. I guess I'm just not that nosey.

Being Mr. Mom

Being a dad isn't always easy. Of course, I'm sure it isn't any easier to be a mother. Considering pregnancy and delivery, episiotomies and cesareans, and the pressures to be a modern working mother, it's surprising women want to have children at all! I got off easy, no spinal for me. Just an uncomfortable chair to sit in while I coached my wife through the births of our 2 children. What I'm referring to is the sometimes difficult task of explaining to  people what I do. Although I work with special needs kids five nights a week, I don't consider that my job. When asked what I do, all I can say is "I'm a stay at home Dad." It's been enough (actually, MORE than enough) to keep me busy these past 4 years. From cloth diapers to home made baby food, my true calling (being a Father) has given me more satisfaction and joy than any of my other experiences.

I can hear you now, "If that’s true, then why is being a dad so tough?" Well, there in lies the rub. This thing that I love so much isn't meant for me. At least not according to society. These experiences shouldn't be mine, because I shouldn't be the one raising my kids. That's my wife's job. Unfortunately for me, I am the aberration. The prevailing societal opinion, no matter how advanced and open minded we think our country is, is that men aren't primary caregivers. I can't be a viable, fully acceptable, caregiver because of my plumbing. That thing causes more trouble... But I digress.

The struggle I and other Stay @ Home Daddies face is changing these opinions. When I go to the market with my two children, I get the most interesting looks; looks that suggest I'm being punished. On more than one occasion, women have pulled me aside and said "You must have done something REALLY wrong to get stuck with the kids," or "How nice of you to give your wife a break." If only they knew. And forget about playgroups. Half of the moms express their "deepest condolences" ( I must be a widower... Last to know, first to go I guess) while the other half wonders where my "partner" is. My neighbor thought that I was an un-employed, drug addicted free-loader who was living off his girlfriend, not a married father of two with a night job. For some reason, unless I walk out that front door every morning at 8 am with briefcase in hand, I can't possibly be a contributing member of society. All of these things I can handle because I know I'm a great father. The real problem for guys like me isn't doing the job, it's getting the credit. Times are changing, and my chosen role is getting a bit more legitimate in the eyes of the public. Maybe by next year, my neighbor will stop telling everyone I'm "between jobs".

The second coming...

So here I am, almost a full 2 years from when this TypePad account was given to me and I still have yet to actually post a blog entry!!

I'm not trying to excuse my lack of content in any way, but my life has been pretty busy since my good friend Dave blessed me with this space. My son is growing, we've sold our own home and bought a new one, and my daughter is soon to be 3! How is this possible? Well, regardless of what happens in the "Blogosphere", life in the cruel, harsh world continues its endless march. So, in short, this is my solemn oath, my pledge even, to create and maintain this space for as long as I draw breath!!! Saddle up, little doggies, it's Daddy time with Mr. Mom!!!